Adult Children of Alcoholics: Effects & Coping Mechanisms

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Last Updated - 07/22/2024

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Key Takeaways

  • Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA) refers to adults who grew up with alcoholic parents and face ongoing effects.
  • The ACoA movement provides structured support, including a 12-step program and resources for healing.
  • Parental alcoholism impacts child development, leading to emotional, social and cognitive challenges.
  • ACoAs often experience complex emotional trauma, affecting their mental health and relationships.
  • Social consequences for children of alcoholics include difficulties in forming secure attachments and social isolation.
  • ACoAs face long-term psychological effects, such as hypervigilance, relationship challenges and an increased risk of substance abuse.
  • Mental health disorders are more prevalent among ACoAs due to genetic predispositions and environmental stressors.
  • Support strategies for ACoAs include therapy, counseling, support groups and self-care practices.

Understanding Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA)

The term ‘Adult Children of Alcoholics’ (ACoA) refers to adults who grew up in a household with one or more alcoholic parents and continue to experience the effects of that upbringing into their adult lives. ACoA is not only a descriptor for a demographic but also represents a structured support system, including a 12-step recovery program specifically tailored to their needs.

ACoA often grapple with complex emotional and behavioral issues stemming from their upbringing. This can include a loss of trust in relationships, difficulties with self-esteem and an inclination towards isolation. The recovery process for ACoAs typically involves breaking the cycle of dysfunction, grieving one’s lost childhood and learning to become a nurturing parent to oneself.

ACoA Movement

Founded in 1978, the ACoA movement has evolved to provide resources and community for those affected by familial alcoholism. The ACoA ‘Laundry List’, a term coined by the organization, outlines 14 traits commonly observed among ACoA, including issues with trust, fear of abandonment and a tendency towards people-pleasing. These traits are used to help identify the ongoing effects of growing up in an alcoholic home.

How Parental Alcoholism Impacts Child Development

Parental alcoholism can significantly delay a child’s development across multiple domains, including emotional, social and cognitive growth. According to studies, such as those published by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), these children are at a heightened risk for health issues, emotional instability and future substance abuse.

Furthermore, the emotional and psychological imprint of growing up with an alcoholic parent can lead to mental health issues and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life. The severity of parental alcohol abuse has been associated with an increased risk of mental and behavioral disorders in children, highlighting the need for early intervention and support for these vulnerable individuals.

Emotional Trauma

Parental alcoholism often leads to a chaotic home life, lacking in consistent rules and boundaries and can include frequent arguments and even violence. This environment fosters a lack of trust and diminished self-esteem in children, which can carry over into adulthood, particularly affecting romantic and social relationships. 

The emotional experiences of ACoAs can manifest in adulthood as difficulties in managing emotions, a propensity to enter relationships with other individuals with alcohol addiction and struggles with ‘bad memories’ from childhood. The term ‘stigma-related trauma’ has been used to describe the unique challenges faced by these individuals, emphasizing the need for targeted support and understanding.

Social Consequences


Children raised in environments where alcohol abuse is prevalent often face emotional unavailability from parents, leading to difficulties in forming secure attachments and trusting relationships. This can lead to social isolation, challenges in developing friendships and difficulties in academic settings, as indicated in a study from NCBI.

Furthermore, parental drinking norms can significantly influence children’s own behaviors and social interactions, as noted in research published by NCBI. Strong parent-youth relationships, conversely, can serve as a protective factor against early alcohol use, underscoring the importance of nurturing family bonds despite the challenges posed by parental alcoholism.

Academic Performance


Studies, such as those using data from the Russia Longitudinal Monitoring Survey (RLMS), have demonstrated that excessive parental alcohol consumption during a child’s upbringing can negatively affect their long-term educational attainments. Moreover, the emotional and social turmoil experienced by these children can lead to difficulties concentrating and engaging in school.

The instability in the home environment may also contribute to an increased risk of developing mental health issues, which can further impair academic success. The secondary harms of parental substance use, including alcohol, extend to children’s educational outcomes, affecting their health, well-being and even their own substance use behaviors.

Long-Term Psychological Effects on ACoA


A parent’s alcohol use disorder (AUD) can leave deep emotional scars, resulting in behaviors and feelings that are carried into adulthood. The long-term effects of being raised in such an environment are complex and multifaceted, impacting emotional well-being, social relationships and mental health.

  • Hypervigilance: Many ACoA develop hypervigilance, a state of increased alertness to potential threats, which can lead to anxiety and stress.
  • Relationship Choices: Studies have found that ACoA are more likely to choose partners with alcohol addiction, perpetuating a cycle of substance abuse.
  • Mental Health Issues: The prevalence of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety is higher among ACoA, often due to the emotional trauma experienced during childhood.
  • Behavioral Problems: Aggression and other behavioral issues can manifest as a result of growing up in an environment with an alcoholic parent.
  • Risk of Substance Abuse: There is an increased risk of substance abuse among ACoA, which may be influenced by genetic factors and learned behaviors.

Mental Health Disorders


Studies have shown a correlation between parental alcoholism and increased levels of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem in offspring. Statistics reveal that compared to their counterparts from non-alcoholic families, children of alcoholic parents exhibit higher frequencies of the following:

  • Separation anxiety
  • Social phobia
  • Obsessive-compulsive problems
  • Agoraphobia
  • Generalized anxiety 
  • Physical injury fears
  • Depression compared

Furthermore, the presence of certain genotypes associated with impaired neurotransmission pathways, particularly those affecting serotonin and dopamine, may exacerbate the risk of developing AUD and other mental health issues.

Relationship Challenges

A common issue for ACoAs is the development of attachment problems, which can lead to either clinginess or emotional unavailability in relationships. This stems from the inconsistency and unpredictability they experienced in childhood, which can cause difficulty in trusting others and forming secure attachments. Consequently, they might replicate the dysfunctional relationship dynamics they witnessed as children.

Research indicates that ACoAs may exhibit heightened vigilance, misinterpreting benign comments as criticism, leading to unnecessary conflict with partners, friends and colleagues. Additionally, ACoAs might struggle with self-esteem and assertiveness, making it challenging to establish boundaries and communicate needs effectively within relationships.

Substance Abuse Risks


ACoAs face an increased risk of developing substance abuse disorders due to both genetic and environmental factors. Studies, such as those reported by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), have shown that the family environment, characterized by the presence of an alcoholic parent, can perpetuate maladaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms that may lead to substance abuse in adulthood. 

Research highlighted by the American Psychological Association and NIH publications indicates that ACoAs often experience a range of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) that correlate with a higher incidence of alcoholism and depression in later life. The interplay of genetic predispositions and a challenging upbringing where parental alcoholism is prevalent can impair neurobiological pathways, leading to an increased vulnerability to substance abuse.

Comprehensive Support Strategies for Healing


ACoA often carry the emotional burden of their childhood experiences into adulthood, which can manifest in various psychological and emotional challenges. Fortunately, there are several avenues of support and coping mechanisms available to help individuals navigate the complexities of this legacy. 

Support groups, both in-person and online, serve as pivotal platforms for sharing experiences and fostering a sense of community. The Colorado ACA Intergroup, for instance, organizes recovery writing workshops and meetings that encourage open communication and mutual support among fellow travelers on the path to recovery. Additionally, the Therapist Aid provides discussion questions designed to prompt conversation and insight into the effects of growing up with an alcoholic caregiver.

Therapy and Counseling

Therapy and counseling provide a critical avenue for healing and coping. Therapists who are informed about the long-term effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family can help ACoAs understand and work through feelings of defectiveness and abandonment rooted in childhood. Effective therapy can assist in unlearning maladaptive survival skills developed during those formative years and replace them with healthy coping mechanisms.

Counseling offers a safe space to address these issues, process trauma and break the cycle of addiction. Support groups and 12-step programs like Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) also play a pivotal role in recovery, providing community and shared experiences that can mitigate feelings of isolation. Therapy can be particularly beneficial in helping ACoAs navigate relationship difficulties, as they may have learned dysfunctional relational patterns from their parents.

Support Groups


Support groups serve as a crucial lifeline for ACoA, offering a safe space to share experiences and find mutual understanding. These groups facilitate a sense of community and belonging, helping individuals realize they are not alone in their struggles. 

Furthermore, support groups typically have a structured agenda that includes a welcoming introduction, personal sharing, group discussion and a formal conclusion to each meeting, as outlined by HelpGuide.org. This structure provides predictability and a framework for support that can be essential for those seeking stability and consistency in their recovery journey.

The communal relational support found within these groups is a unique therapeutic benefit, as noted by Psychology Today. This form of support can be particularly effective for a variety of issues, including the long-term effects of growing up in an environment affected by alcoholism.

Self-Care Strategies

Developing self-care strategies is essential to care for one’s physical, mental and emotional health. Here are practical self-care strategies tailored for ACoAs:

  • Establish Boundaries: Set clear limits with family members to protect your mental health. This may include limiting contact with a parent who is still struggling with alcoholism.
  • Seek Therapy: Engage in therapy with professionals experienced in addiction and family dynamics to process childhood experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Join Support Groups: Participate in groups like ACoA, where you can find community and shared understanding.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques such as meditation and deep breathing exercises to reduce stress and anxiety.
  • Focus on Physical Health: Maintain a healthy lifestyle through regular exercise, balanced nutrition and adequate sleep to improve mood and energy levels.
  • Develop Healthy Relationships: Cultivate friendships and romantic relationships with individuals who support your recovery and respect your boundaries.
  • Explore Creative Outlets: Use artistic expression such as writing, painting, or music as a therapeutic tool to process emotions.
  • Prioritize Fun and Relaxation: Make time for activities that bring joy and relaxation to counterbalance the seriousness of healing work.
  • Learn Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a good friend.


Key Societal and Policy Support Initiatives

Societal attitudes and government policies play a crucial role in supporting ACoAs. Awareness campaigns, such as the COA Awareness Week organized by the National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA), are instrumental in breaking the silence around parental addiction and providing hope to affected individuals. Such initiatives can foster a more compassionate society that recognizes the long-term impact of parental alcoholism.

Policy-wise, the establishment of support frameworks, like the ACoA World Service Organization (ACA WSO), provides essential resources for ACoAs. These include literature, meeting information and advocacy for better access to mental health services.

Moreover, policies that focus on prevention and early intervention in families affected by alcoholism can mitigate the long-term effects on children. Educational programs in schools and community centers can equip children with coping skills and reduce the stigma associated with seeking help. 

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